5 Ways the Internet Celebrated ‘(Not Provided)’

Editor’s Note: The following column is intended for immature audiences and probably won’t be suitable for all readers, especially those who anger easily at the mention of the word “Google”. Yes, Google’s move to secure search is a bummer, but that doesn’t mean we can’t cope with a little bit of humor on the weekend. Read on, if you dare…

So the search marketing world discovered a little change this week. For those of you who didn’t have an Interwebz connection, let me give you the scoop.

See, the people over at Google have decided that we no longer need to deal with that little matter of keyword data, so they’ve decided to turn every single search term typed on their little search engine into “(not provided)” in Google Analytics.

This change is nearly two years in the making, as “(not provided)” data has increased for many. Google has now switched all searches over to HTTPS from HTTP, so NO MORE KEYWORD DATA FOR YOU!

Obviously this isn’t great news for anyone who works in search. The reality is, it means that other items like content, site architecture, linking building, and social media (to name a few) are more important, as search engine ranking is only getting harder and harder.

In honor of this little change (insert copious amounts of sarcasm) I searched around the web to find the top five ways people celebrated vented about this big change.

1. 100% (not provided) Protein

Not Provided Protein Powder

OK, you guys at Powerhouse Fitness are funny! What a better way to celebrate than with an overly priced protein powder, which listed ingredients of (not provided). They state that “(not provided) is a healthy alternative to other (not provided) products and will help you (not provided), (not provided) and has been used by serious athletes that are involved in (not provided) style sports.”

Well played.

2. #notprovidedfilmtitles

People seem be taking to Twitter to share their insight on #notprovidedfilmtitles, thanks to creator @tjproberts. There were even awards given to the winners of the best titles as seen on @krystianszastok‘s site.

Here are three that are pretty fantastic:

Zack and Miri Make a not provided Tweet

Saving Private not provided Tweet

Star Trek II The Wrath of not provided

3. Movie Posters

Twitterverse people decided to take it a step further and create neat movie posters to further make this #notprovidedfilmtitles game more fun!

Invasion of the Keyword Snatchers

Image by @hitreach

Google Alien

Image by @matt_seo

Keyword Apocalypse Now

Image by @aaranged

4. notprovided.co.uk

The UKs Most Valuable Domain Name

The UK seems to be getting in on the action by creating the domain http://www.notprovided.co.uk/. While this website was created nearly two years ago, it’s still pretty funny considering this week’s events.

Notprovided.co.uk states that this domain “is the number 1 converting keyword in the UK across all websites, all industries and all platforms!” You can be the owner of this domain for a mere 1 million pounds or “nearest offer.”

5. Memes

Finally, it wouldn’t be the Internet if we didn’t have some “(not provided)” memes to accompany all the drama.

Not Sure If...

not provided Ryan Gosling

I Logged into Google Analytics

If you found any additional “(not provided)” fun, please tweet us @sewatch to let us know!

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