FAA Safety Instructions For The Google Jet

InsideGoogle spotted a funny write up from the Seattle Times called Google founders eager to take users for a ride. I'll quote the piece InsideGoogle quoted:

I'm now required by the Federal Aviation Administration to give the following safety instructions, because our aircraft is in beta and always will be:
In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, stock options will drop from the ceiling above you. Please inflate the options until you feel financially secure.

In the event of a sudden loss of propulsion, look under your seat for the blue, red, yellow and green Google parachute. Place the straps around your shoulders, tighten the waist belt, jump out of the aircraft and press the “I'm Feeling Lucky” button on your chest.